• Jo Rust

The Motivation Paradox

You’re never going to feel like it…

This is something that has been coming up a lot in my coaching sessions with clients lately.

I think we all know the feeling all too well. “I don’t have the energy to…”, or “I don’t have the time to…”, or “I’ll do it when I feel like it”, or “I’ll do it when I feel ready”.

It usually pertains to doing something that is either good for our health or wellbeing. Ie. exercising, healthy diet, going to therapy, having the tough conversations, committing to healthier habits, quitting that job you hate, asking for something you want, communicating boundaries, saying no, etc.

Thing is, and I suspect we all really know this deep down; you’re never going to feel like it. You’re never just going to wake up and have the motivation. You’re never going to truly feel ready. YOU HAVE TO JUST DO IT!

The paradox is: I truly believe it all comes down to self-esteem and truly loving and accepting oneself. Because if you truly love and accept yourself, wholeheartedly, you’d do whatever is best for you. You won’t need another reason, other than it is what is best for your overall health and wellbeing.

To love yourself is to look after yourself, in every aspect. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Being mindful of what you put into your body and mind. Being mindful of the environments you expose yourself to. Staying away from toxic environments and people. Setting boundaries and enforcing those boundaries, with others and yourself.

These are everyday difficulties that everyone struggles with. Individuals who suffer from mental illness even more so.

The paradox is this: It’s a cycle you need to break out of.

Toxic environments and substances affect your mental health. This makes you feel unmotivated, depressed, anxious, maybe even suicidal. It makes healthy habits seem impossible. But practicing self-discipline and literally forcing yourself to do what’s best for you, helps improve mood, performance, health, and overall wellbeing. It comes down to CHOICE. I’m not in any way implying that it’s easy. If it were easy none of us would struggle.

It’s about caring about and loving yourself enough to do what’s best for you.

You are enough. You are important. You are deserving. You are worthy. You are loved.

Some ways to practice self-care:

  1. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. We’ve all been given an automatically installed ‘spidey sense’ software. It’s your gut, sixth sense, instinct. Whatever you call it, it’s there for a reason. Listen to it. If something doesn’t feel right, walk away. Protect yourself.

  2. Say exactly what you mean. This one is a tough one. So many of us struggle with open communication, mainly out of fear of offending or upsetting others. Though the truth is usually always best. Say exactly what you mean. Cryptic messages don’t work. We can’t read one another’s minds (yet). Maybe we’ll evolve to that level one day. Until then, be clear in your communication.

  3. Never speak badly about yourself. How you speak about yourself matters more than you think. Firstly, people take note of how you speak about yourself. Especially in newer relationships. You’re teaching others how to treat you. And if you speak badly about yourself, you’re teaching others to do the same. Secondly, there’s a lot of evidence on how our thoughts and words affect physical matter. You can make yourself sick by constantly speaking badly about yourself.

  4. Take time out to do things you enjoy Me Time” is so important. You cannot give what you do not have. And if you’re depleted of energy, love, happiness; you cannot give any of it to those you love. You have to recharge first. How do we recharge? By doing things you enjoy. Read a book. Take a luxurious bath. Go for a massage. Buy yourself some flowers. Hit the gym. Do something creative. Create something.

  5. Stay away from negative and toxic people We all know the type. These are the kind of people that suck the energy right out of you. When you walk away from them after a conversation, you feel absolutely flat. Demotivated. Tired. Stay away from people who do not add to your life in a positive way. Remember, you are the average of the people you surround yourself with.

Online Mental Health Coaching: www.jorust.com/coaching

Free Ebook Downloads: www.jorust.com/shop

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